Where do you start with something so heavy? How do I begin to share with you the millions of thoughts that pass through my mind each day? I guess the easiest beginning for me is with the facts.
Last Monday afternoon my door bell rang. When I opened the door there was a young man who I had never seen before. He asked me for a drink of water. I shut the door, leaving him outside and went to find a cup of water that I could give him. I returned, giving him the water and trying to send him on his way. When I tried to shut the door he stopped it and forced his entrance into our home. He came in swinging. He beat me until I stopped fighting back at which point I was barely conscious. It then became clear why he was there. He beat and raped me for an hour and a half.
He ran out the back door when he heard our roomate arriving at home. I quickly locked the door behind him and went to find Graham who had been shut in the bathroom for an hour. I grabbed the phone on the way and called 911. Within a couple minutes I heard the sirens. Finally, it was over....or just beginning depending on how you look at it.
I was beaten quite badly. I was unrecognizable Monday evening, even to Jared. Almost all my wounds were to the head. However, the body is an amazing thing and mine seems to be healing quickly. The bruises are fading and the swelling is gone. I wish that my body could just take care of my emotional healing as well, but it's becoming painfully clear that I have some hard work and dark days ahead of me.
I am currently quite numb to everything. Some defense mechanism inside me turned off my emotions when he entered our home, and I haven't been able to feel since. I need to feel this. I have to feel this in order to heal.
My song choice for today is "Awake my Soul" by Mumford & Sons. My prayer is that my soul would awaken.